Tree Lessons In Entrepreneurship From the Chinese Bamboo Tree

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The Chinese bamboo tree has to be watered and fertilized everyday for 5 years and hardly grows in its first 5 years of its existence.  If in those 5 years the tree is not watered or fertilized it will die in the ground.  In the 5th year though it grows 90 feet in just 6 weeks.

The question is that does it grow 90 feet in 5 years or 6 weeks?  The answer of course is 5 years.  Thats how long it took to grow it.  To build the foundation. To get the people.  To build the network.  To learn the market.  To nurture it.  To learn the system.  To learn how to do it.  To figure it out.

Entrepreneurship and chasing dreams is also often like the Chinese bamboo tree.  Nothing seems to be working.  Nothing on the surface seems to be growing.  But you must have faith.  Faith that consistent action towards your goals will lead to the eventual growth of your tree.

Remember that few people seem to appreciate the Chinese Bamboo Tree while it is in the ground laying the foundations.  Some people will come make fun of the farmer that puts so many years of work without much to show for it on the surface.  They will tell the farmer to pick another crop which shows the results much quicker.  But the trick is to be the farmer with faith.  Faith that your hard work and perseverance will  eventually pay off.  To ignore the voices of doubt that come when a few months or years into your farming you ask yourself “will it ever grow?”.  To keep going and know that putting in the work, will lead to the eventual growth of your tree.

To be a successful Chinese Bamboo Tree farmer you need patience, consistent action and faith that your tree will eventually blossom too.

In life, we often only notice the 6 weeks of growth of other people’s trees, but we often don’t truly appreciate the 5 years of watering and fertilization farmers have done on the road to success.

If your tree hasn’t blossomed yet, have faith, patience and keep going with consistent action until it does.

P.s. This post inspired by Les Brown

10 Life Lessons I Have Learnt That Have Made Me Successful

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1. Always be humble

There are going to be times when you get what everyone else wants. It’s during these times that you need to stay humble and never forget where you came from. I have achieved financial goals and career goals that most people have only dreamt of. I don’t tell you this to impress you; I tell you because I want you to understand how important being humble is.

Instead of being cocky when you reach a goal, use the result to inspire or teach someone else to do the same. It will feel much better than any amount of money and it will give you fulfilment. There is nothing more ugly in a person than arrogance and that’s not you – that’s not me either.

As quick as you can make a million coins you can lose it too. Those who are humble are able to fail and still get back up and start again. Those who are arrogant have a much harder time because the people around them remember how they were when they had the million coins.

It’s for this reason that I write these posts, rather than keep what I know to myself. I want you to do the same from now on – plain and simple.

2. Keep An Open Mind At All Times

If I could only teach you one lesson and nothing else then it would be this; the number one attribute that successful people have is an open mind. They are open to change and to think differently. This is why they see opportunities that normal people do not.

Remember that everything you know is only true if you believe it is. Question everything you have ever known and remember that there is no one answer to any question. People that fail do so because they think they have all the answers and they do not have an open mind.

You’re not a failure and that’s why you’re here. If there is someone who has totally different views to you then take them out to lunch, you might learn something. The greatest life lessons are learnt from your foes, not from people that just agree with everything you say.

3. Don’t be in love with yourself

Let’s face it, some people just love themselves. Have you ever met the person that has what sounds like a very polished script about their life and what they have been up to? Have you ever seen someone’s Instagram account that is full of photos of themselves?

Again, this is not you. Of course, it’s okay to have some photos of yourself, but don’t make everything all about you. If you want to attract amazing people into your life then do the reverse and focus on other people – it’s much more powerful and you know it.

4. The season will always change

I am sure you have heard of this by now, but if you haven’t, then I will introduce you to this concept; life is made up of seasons. There are times when you are in winter and everything is not going your way. Everything that can go wrong does.

Then there are other times where everything goes right and you can’t believe how much you have grown. As long as you tell yourself that the season will change and your struggle won’t last forever, the universe will work in your favour.

Remember that during the winter moments of your life, the greatest lessons are being learnt and your personal resilience is being built. You’ll look back someday and be grateful for all those cold blizzards because it will have shaped who you are and what you can do for others.

Also, keep in mind that while some may be complaining about the cold weather, people like you will decide to go skiing instead – it’s all a matter of perspective.

5. People have their own reasons for their decisions

A lot of people spend their valuable time on this earth trying to figure out what people’s reasons are for making certain decisions. The life lesson I want you to get from these situations is that people have their own reasons for doing things.

Humans are not all logical and no matter how hard you try you will never really know why someone did something. For example, your startup might be turned down for a major business deal and you automatically think that it’s because of your product or your experience.

In reality, you might have been turned down for something stupid like you may resemble a character from a horror film and the person making the decision is reminded of this every time they meet you. My point is that there could be lots of reasons that a decision is made but all of your focus should not be on why they made the decision, but how you can learn from it and continue with your vision.

6. Give value as much as you take value

A rule of the universe that always works is that you need to give as much value as you take. In a relationship, if all you do is take and you never give anything in return, it’s guaranteed that the relationship will eventually fail.

I know what you’re thinking, “but how do I know what to give someone else?”

The answer is you don’t, you just give them something that you think is valuable to them and do so with all of yourself. Even if your act creates no value for the other person, they will be so humbled that you tried and you will get a great outcome.

In a business context, for a partnership to work there has to be value exchanged on both sides. Instead of thinking about how much profit you are making and how you can extract more money from the other side, reframe your thinking to “how can I give more value?”

I guarantee you that if you give the other side of a business partnership more value than they expect, they will try and outdo you any way they can. This process creates disruption, innovation and a great people culture.

7. Be optimistic at all times (the universe is in your favour)

If you look at people who achieve the impossible, you will notice that they all seem to have an unwavering sense of optimism. The reality is that negative people end up nowhere, buying lottery tickets and hoping that someone is going to knock on their door with a pile of cash.

You wouldn’t be on this site if you believed that myth and so I want you to know that the best thing you can do for your mental toughness is work on being more optimistic. Every time someones says something that is overly negative and not constructive, be bold, and call it out.

Don’t let other people bring you down with them. If you find that these negative people are having this affect on you all the time, then change your environment. Work somewhere else, start your own business, find a new group of friends, etc.

By working on the art that is optimism, you will reconstruct your neural pathways to point yourself in the direction of greatness and global success

8. Take a break from your passion

Some of you on here are dedicated and work on your passion every single day. While I applaud you for your hard work, I want you to take a break once in a while. It’s on these breaks that your moments of clarity will come.

It’s on these breaks that you will pivot your vision and expand it further than it was before. Being in the same environment every day will limit your knowledge and block you from innovating. My suggestion would be to go as far away from your passion as possible, at least every 3-6 months for a couple of days.

Unwind, take a break and relax. Life is an adventure and it’s meant to be fun. Yes, you need to do some hard work to achieve your goals but heck, just smell the roses once in a while and let yourself be grateful for who you are and what you’re becoming.

In the not so distant future, you are going to achieve amazing things with your passion and all the hard work will pay off – trust me.

9. Reevaluate where you are at regularly

Nothing stays the same ever! I tell you this because it means that you need to constantly reevaluate yourself and the direction you are heading. To be on an optimal path to greatness you should be checking your major goals monthly if not weekly.

Ensure that your time is not being wasted and that the small steps you are taking are leading you down thepath you want to go. There will be times when you will veer off a little bit but that’s okay. If you don’t check your human GPS once in a while, you could end up on the other side of the planet thousands of miles away from your destination.

How do you revaluate things? You take a simple approach. Life is already complicated enough so keep this part of your life simple. Ask yourself:

Am I on track to achieving some or all of my goal?

Am I happy each day doing what I am doing?

What small changes could I make to better my results if any?

Have I asked other people who have achieved a similar goal, how I am tracking?

If you answer these questions on a regular basis, you will compound your results beyond what you thought was possible. Other people will be left scratching their head while you will be off in the distance doing the impossible.

10. Don’t be afraid to do the opposite of what people expect

I’m not sure what it is but I have always loved doing the opposite of what other people expect. By following other people’s expectations all you will ever do is achieve mediocre results that don’t align with what drives you and fulfils you.

Veering off track and doing your own thing requires you to be bold. When you don’t conform to how others want you to be and what others want you to achieve, you could get some negative feedback. That’s okay and if anything it usually proves to me that I am on the right track.

Even if you meet people that do what others expect, don’t judge them, it just means they haven’t found themselves yet or haven’t discovered their true passion and that’s okay – you were like that once before.

Lastly………..

Don’t ever let anyone stop you from following your passion and achieving your goals. Only you know what motivates you and only you have the power to bring change to the world. Stand up! Get inspired! Focus! Breathe! You have the power! Anything is possible!

How to Get Ahead While Everyone Else Takes A Holiday Break

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I’ve found that there are primarily two types of people that emerge when the holiday haze hits. Which one are you?

Type #1 is the 99%. They are “The Sheep.”

By December 1st, The Sheep are already “mentally checked” out. They might be here physically, but their minds are roasting chestnuts over an open fire. “Dude…it’s December,” they’ll tell you.

The Sheep have plenty of big goals that they’re hoping to accomplish in 2016. (I mean, who doesn’t?) But right now, all that stuff is on the back burner. For them, December means it’s time for champagne at work. Time for gorging on an ungodly amount of pastries, moving up a pants size and snuggling on the couch with “bae” to watch that awesome claymation Rudolph movie. And I get it.

Going on mental cruise control around the holidays doesn’t sound like such a bad idea for most people. I think we can all relate. But inevitably, a sinking feeling begins to develop. Right in your core. It starts very subtly, when you look back at 2015 goals and realize, “Damn…I didn’t really accomplish what I set out to do this year.” “It’s ok,” you tell yourself. “New Year, New Me. Right? I’ll get a fresh start in January.”

So you set new resolutions to get even MORE done in 2016. It feels good to envision yourself following through. Maybe you even write some things down. Deep down inside, though, you know nothing has really changed.

You don’t really have a plan for getting from where you are to where you want to be — and in your heart-of-hearts, as much as it hurts you to admit it, you wouldn’t exactly be surprised if December 2016 left you feeling just as unsatisfied as this year.

So you kinda just bury your expectations in food and embrace the holiday slump. It’s a nice six-ish weeks of self-induced, “I’ll deal with it after New Years” bliss. But on a core level, it’s an agonizing cycle of self-defeat. That’s how 99% of the population spends their holiday season. That’s what happens to sheep. If that’s happened to you, or is happening to you, I’m not criticizing you. I’ve been there too. But there’s another way.

“It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.” – Henry Ford

Type #2 is the 1%. “The Hustlers”

On the outside, Hustlers seem like anomalies whose massive success can’t be explained with logic. They’re like “glitches” in the system. Remember that scene in the Matrix, when Neo walks through the crowd of sober worker bees all dressed in black and spots an elegant blonde in a red cocktail dress? The effect is jarring. These hustlers stand out like a sore thumb.

These are the people who set out toaccomplish MASSIVE goals every single year — and not only CRUSH those goals,but surpass them. I know you’ve seen them.

Maybe you’re reading Forbes and catch a glimpse of some young, brilliant entrepreneur in his twenties who’s making billions with an app he developed in his dorm room. Or perhaps it’s the newest junior executive at your job, who despite being with the company for less time than you, has already put herself on track to become a partner (Meanwhile, your boss just rejected your request for a raise. Ouch.)

These seemingly extraordinary people pop up on social media too. How many times have you had to look at friends-of-friends taking selfies from Fiji as you agonize over which formula to use in an Excel spreadsheet? It just doesn’t seem fair. “Who ARE these people…and what are they doing that I’m not?”

It’s easy to look at outstanding people doing incredible work and think of them as outliers. They must be freaks of nature. Not “one of us.” Unusually gifted, uncharacteristically lucky. Probably have rich parents. Born with better facial structure. Ugh. The unfairness would be depressing if it wasn’t so intriguing. HOW ARE THEY DOING IT?    

At the end of the day, you can come up with all sorts of reasons why the “chosen few” should see massive success while you sit on the sidelines, fighting for the scraps with the rest of the population. You can even choose to hate them because of their success. OR you could simply decide to become one of them. But to do that, you’re going to have to STEP UP YOUR GAME.

I’d like to invite you to undertake The 13-Month Year.

“If it is important to you you will find a way. If not you’ll find an excuse.” –Ryan Blair

What is The 13-Month Year?

The 13-Month Year is how true Hustlers get ahead. More than anything, someone living a 13-Month Year says: “Screw the norm. I don’t care that everyone else is taking the holidays off. I’m about to turn the rocket boosters ON.”

While your friends and colleagues are winding down, getting fat and singing carols, you’re grinding through the holidays. You’re starting your year early and you get an entire “bonus” month in 2016 to figure things out without wasting time. You’re working out all the kinks in your plans so that come January 1st, while everyone else is sobering up and crawling back to the office, you’re already well into the groove. THAT’S how winners kill the game.

This isn’t another played out New Year’s Resolution that you’ll sweep under the rug in a few weeks, quietly embarrassed. This is a proven strategy for success.

If you want to get in better shape, maybe you’ll use that extra month to start your workout routine and diet plan early. You’d be appalled how empty the gym is in December. Only Hustlers are gettin’ it in. Perfect. If you want to start a business, maybe that extra month is used to begin testing your ideas early and identify where to focus your efforts so that you already have momentum and clarity going into 2016.

Now here’s the catch:THIS STUFF IS IT NOT EASY. I’m just going to put that out on front street right now. I’m not here to sell you dreams. I’m not a guru. I’m just Joseph. I’m not a millionaire (yet). I’m not perfect. I’m not all-knowing. But I HAVE figured some stuff out that can help you. And the more I hang out with people who are MUCH more successful than me, the more I realize that success is not an accident. It’s not luck.

A big part of getting ahead is the ability to focus while other people are distracted. So I want to help you get focused. Not in January. Right now.

Are you going to start the 13 month year this year? Let me know your plans in the comment section below!

Emotional Intelligence Quotes

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One simple definition of emotional intelligence is “the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.”

Emotional Intelligence is the Difference That Makes the Difference

Top 10 Emotional Intelligence Quotes

  1. “There are certain emotions that will kill your drive; frustration and confusion.  You can change these to a positive force.  Frustration means you are on the verge of a breakthrough.  Confusion can mean you are about to learn something.  Expect the breakthrough and expect to learn.”  — Kathleen Spike, Master Certified Coach
  2. “There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning are all linked.” — Eric Jensen
  3. “Use pain as a stepping stone, not a camp ground.” —- Alan Cohen
  4. “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” -— Marshall B. Rosenberg
  5. “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”  — Daniel Goleman
  6. “We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us — -how we can take it, what we do with it —- and that is what really counts in the end.” —- Joseph Fort Newton
  7. “We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt…” —- Dorothy Day
  8. “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” —- Benjamin Franklin
  9. “When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara Meyer Robson
  10. “Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.” – Carl Sagan

What is Emotional Intelligence?

  • “Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.”  — Robert K. Cooper. Ph.D.
  • “It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head — it is the unique intersection of both.” — David Caruso
  • “The ability to process emotional information, particularly as it involves the perception, assimilation, understanding, and management of emotion.” — Mayer and Cobb
  • “The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.” — John Mayer and Peter Salovey
  • “We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” — Salovey and Mayer

Why Emotional Intelligence?

  • “75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”  — The Center for Creative Leadership
  • “All learning has an emotional base.” – Plato
  • “As much as 80% of adult “success” comes from EQ.” — Daniel Goleman
  • “Comparing the three domains, I found that for jobs of all kinds, emotional competencies were twice as prevalent among distinguishing competencies as were technical skills and purely cognitive abilities combined. In general the higher a position in an organization, the more EI mattered: for individuals in leadership positions, 85 percent of their competencies were in the EI domain.”  — Daniel Goleman
  • “Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough.  Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure.”  –Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express Financial Advisers
  • “Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the “success” in our lives.” — J. Freedman
  • “Emotions are a critical source of information for learning.” — Joseph LeDoux
  • “Emotions are enmeshed in the neural networks of reason.” — Antonio Dumasio
  • “Emotions are the glue that holds the cells of the organism together.” — Candace Pert
  • “Emotions have taught mankind to reason.” – Luc de Clapiers, marquis de Vauvenargues
  • “I think in the coming decade we will see well-conducted research demonstrating that emotional skills and competencies predict positive outcomes at home with one’s family, in school, and at work. The real challenge is to show that emotional intelligence matters over-and-above psychological constructs that have been measured for decades like personality and IQ. I believe that emotional intelligence holds this promise.” — Peter Salovey
  • “In a study of skills that distinguish star performers in every field from entry-level jobs to executive positions, the single most important factor was not IQ, advanced degrees, or technical experience, it was EQ.  Of the competencies required for excellent in performance in the job studies, 67% were emotional competencies.” — Daniel Goleman
  • “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives.  Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine our success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”  — John Gottman
  • “Just imagine you’re four years old, and someone makes the following proposal: If you’ll wait until after he runs an errand, you can have two marshmallows for a treat. If you can’t wait until then, you can have only one–but you can have it right now. It is a challenge sure to try the soul of any four-year-old, a microcosm of the eternal battle between impulse and restraint, id and ego, desire and self-control, gratification and delay… There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, led to one or another impulse to act.” —  Daniel Goleman
  • “People high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities designated and to master more of them.” — Mayer and Salovey
  • “People in good moods are better at inductive reasoning and creative problem solving.” — Salovey, Mayer, Goldman, Turvey, and Palfai
  • “The 8 Equities: Physical, Spiritual, Psychological, Intellectual, Emotional, Financial, Social and Family.” — Michael Vance
  • “The nervous system and hormone responses of hostile people are a pathway to disease and death.”  — Redford Williams, M.D

Self-Awareness

  • “Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them.” — Robert Henri
  • “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we have a clear picture of it.” — Benedict Spinoza
  • “Experience is not what happens to you — it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” —- Aldous Huxley
  • “Experiencing one’s self in a conscious manner–that is, gaining self-knowledge–is an integral part of learning.” — Joshua M. Freedman
  • “Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.” — David Borenstein
  • “For news of the heart, ask the face.” — West African saying
  • “He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future.” — Quevedo
  • “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one who gets burned.” — Buddha
  • “Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” — Vincent Van Gogh
  • “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us out in marching onward.” — Henry Ford
  • “Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking. That is what’s real.” — Doc Childre
  • “Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.” — William O’Rourke
  • “Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.” — Walter Weckler
  • “The degree of one’s emotions varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts.” — Bertrand Russell
  • “The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions.” — Donald Calne
  • “The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” — Edmund Burke
  • “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”  — William James
  • “There are emotions which are biologically oriented and then there are complex emotions which are saturated with thoughts and cognition.” — Jack Mayer
  • “There is no thinking without feeling and no feeling without thinking.” — Karen McCown
  • “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” — Kahlil Gibran
  • “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” —- Dale Carnegie
  • “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” — Roger Ebert
  • “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” —- Khalil Gibran

Self-Management

  • “A merry heart doeth good like medicine.”  — Proverbs 17:22
  • “An emotion occurs when there are certain biological, certain experiential, and certain cognitive states which all occur simultaneously.” — Jack Mayer
  • “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” —- Epictetus
  • “Anyone can be angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.” – Aristotle
  • “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” — Robert Frost
  • “Education is the fire-proofer of emotions.” — Dr. Frank Crane
  • “Emotion turning back on itself, and not leading on to thought or action, is the element of madness.” — John Sterling
  • “Emotions help keep us on the right track by making sure that we are led by more than cognition.” — Maurice Elias
  • “Every time we allow someone to move us with anger, we teach them to be angry.”  — Barry Neil Kaufman
  • “Fear is the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind.” — H. P. Lovecraft
  • “He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.” — Japanese proverb
  • “If we lack emotional intelligence, whenever stress rises the human brain switches to autopilot and has an inherent tendency to do more of the same, only harder.  Which, more often than not, is precisely the wrong approach in today’s world.” — Robert K. Cooper
  • “Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.”  — Deepak Chopra
  • “It is reason, and not passion, which must guide our deliberations, guide our debate, and guide our decision.” — Barbara Jordan
  • “Logic will not change an emotion, but action will.” – Anonymous
  • “Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.” — Joshua L. Liebman
  • “Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.” — Norman Vincent Peale
  • “Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand … prejudice, fear and ignorance walk hand-in-hand.” — Peart
  • “Substance abusers’ key deficits turned out to be problem solving, social responsibility, and stress tolerance. Spousal abusers primarily lacked empathy and had poor impulse control and an inflated self-regard.”  — US Air Force
  • “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.” — Alous Huxley
  • “The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.” — Marya Mannes
  • “To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments.” — Brian Koslow
  • “Women, on average, tend to be more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.”  — Daniel Goleman

Social Awareness

  • “Adults remain social animals; they continue to require a source of stabilization outside themselves.  That open-loop design means that in some important ways, people cannot be stable on their own — not should or shouldn’t, but can’t be … Stability means finding people who regulate you well and staying near them.”  — Thomas Lewis, M.D.
  • “I think it’s easy to mistake understanding for empathy — we want empathy so badly. … It’s hard and ugly to know somebody can understand you without even liking you.” — Thomas Harris
  • “The eyes have one language everywhere.”  — George Herbert
  • “When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air.”  — Stephen R. Covey

Social Skills

  • “Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.” — Chinese proverb
  • “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.” — Og Mandino
  • “Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions — so find out how to light their fires.” — Jeff Dewar
  • “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Boese
  • “In my 35 years in business I have always trusted my emotions. I have always believed that by touching emotion you get the best people to work with you, the best clients to inspire you, the best partners and most devoted customers.”  — Kevin Roberts
  • “Isolated people have vastly increased rate of premature death from all causes and are 3-5x likelier to die early than people with strong social ties.”  — Dean Ornish
  • “Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other – it doesn’t matter who it is – and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.” — Mother Teresa
  • “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” — Kahlil Gibran
  • “The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions.” — John Hancock
  • “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie
  • “When you make people angry, they act in accordance with their baser instincts, often violently and irrationally. When you inspire people, they act in accordance with their higher instincts, sensibly and rationally. Also, anger is transient, whereas inspiration sometimes has a life-long effect.” — Peace Pilgrim

If you have some favorite emotional intelligence quotes, feel free to share.