Leadership is earned not bestowed

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision. The director discovered from the CV, that the youth’s academic result was excellent. The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarship in school?” and the youth answered “no”. The director asked, ” Is it your father who paid for your school fees?” the youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it is my mother who paid for my school fees.” The director asked, “Where did your mother work?” the youth answered, “My mother worked as a cleaner.” The director requested the youth to show him his hands. The youth showed a pair of hand that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, “Did you ever help your mother wash the clothes?” The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.” The director said, “I have a request, when you go home today, look at your mother’s hand, and then come and see me tomorrow morning.” The youth felt that as the chance of landing the job is high, when he went back, he happily wanted to see his mother’s hand. His mother felt strange, happy but mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid. The youth looked at his mother’s hand slowly, his tears rolled down he cheeks. He never noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and that there are so many bruises in her hand.

This is the first time the youth realized and experienced that it was this pair of hand that washed clothes everyday to earn him the school fees, the bruises in the mother’s hand is the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future. After looking at him Mum’s hands, the youth quietly cleaned all remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office. The director noticed the tear in the youth’s eye, asked: “Can you tell what have you done and learned yesterday?” The youth answered, ” I looked at my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.”‘ The director asked, “Please tell me your feelings.”

The youth replied:
Number 1 – I now appreciate the fact that without my mother, I would not be successful today.
Number 2 -, I now know how to work together with my mother; I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
Number 3 – I know the importance and value of family relationships.

The director said, “This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of others, a person that understands the challenges of others to get thing done, and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be a Manager. You are hired.”

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employees worked diligently and in a team, the company’s result improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, develops an “entitlement mentality” and always put himself first. He is ignorant of others effort. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a Manager, he never understands the challenges facing his employee and always blames others.

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash the dishes together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way and give them an appreciation that everything in life does not come easy.

The most important thing we all need to learn is how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty, and learn the ability to work with others to get things done.

Exceptional Leadership!
by Author Unknown

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Dreamer

twirling

Climbing higher mountains

I will not descend downward

Until after I have conquered that fear

Clasping stars within my hands

They shall not stray from my touch

I am a dreamer

My wings lie in my mind

Where they allow me to divide the clouds

As I ascend through their cotton-like tufts

One cannot pierce my heart with any arrow

It is filled with pure bliss and compassion

No one will ever be able to seize that from me

Although at times my eyes may look wounded

My strength has never fled

Lessons Learned from Oprah Winfrey

Whether you’re a fan or not, there is no doubt that Oprah Winfrey changes lives, starting with her own. As a real life rags-to-riches story and a self-made success, she knows the power of choice, living with courage, and following your dreams. She makes things happen.

Success leaves clues. Using Oprah’s words of wisdom and endless resources for information, we can add many patterns and practices for success to our personal knowledge base.

25 Lessons Learned from Oprah Winfrey

While I can’t possibly do justice to Oprah’s lifetime of contribution and service, what I can do is look for themes and patterns. I think the most important theme I noticed is that Oprah is a self-starter and she’s a visionary. Her determination and drive carry her forward, while her reflection and continuous growth help her redefine who she is and carry the best forward. It’s like a fine wine getting better with age. Here are 25 lessons from Oprah we can learn and model from:

1. Keep your dreams right in front of you.
Keep your eye on the prize and follow your dreams. Oprah is a fan of using your dreams as inspiration and guide for your choices in life. She’s recommended creating a vision board to map out what you really want.
2. Anyone can go from rags to riches.
No excuses. It’s not what you were born into; it’s what you do with what you’ve got. Oprah made herself who she is. No matter how bad your past was, it doesn’t need to limit your destiny unless you live in the past.
3. Surround yourself with an A-team.
Learn from the best. Find the mentors and coaches that can help you bring out your best. Oprah has a team of experts on her side. For health, Oprah has Dr. Mehmet Oz, Bob Greene, and Dr. Katz. For spirit, she has Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Elizabeth Lesser, and Martha Beck. For style, she has Val Monroe and Adam Glassman. For relationships, she has Lisa Kogan and Dr. Laura Bergman. For home, she has Nate Berkus, Peter Walsh, and Simran Sethi. For money, she has Suze Orman and Jean Chatzky. She’s worked with best-selling author, Eckhart Tolle and “relationship and life strategy expert,” Dr. Phil. Who’s in your corner? It doesn’t need to be somebody famous. You can learn from people in the past or in the present, from books, or in real life. “Stand on the shoulders of giants” instead of start from scratch.
4. Declutter your life.
Clean up your messes. This could be your house (and Oprah has plenty of resources for organizing and simplifying.) This could be your emotions. This could be your everyday schedule. Declutter to create space for opportunity, creativity, and a sense of well-being. Decluttering can help you get rid of the energy drains and chaos.
5. Live in a more conscious way.
Increase your awareness. Be mindful. Be in the moment. Make thoughtful choices. For example, don’t make emotional food choices. Improve your self-awareness.
6. Practice an attitude of gratitude.
Don’t have a sense of entitlement. Appreciate what you’ve got, what you get, and don’t take things for granted.
7. Make the most of what you’ve got.
Make the most of … your mind … your body … your emotions (including self-esteem and confidence) … your relationships … your home.
8. Embrace the body you’ve got.
Nourish your body. Look your best. Feel your best. Like it or not, your body is yours. Take care of it, so it can take care of you. After all, it needs to last you a life time.
9. Learn for life.
Nourish your mind. Reading is fundamental. Oprah is a firm believer in education and the power of know-how. In the words of Oprah, “Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi.”
10. Live your best life.
Take responsibility. Be accountable to yourself and to your dreams. Don’t settle. Oprah has extensive resources to help you live your best life. Check out Live Your Best Life and Oprah’s Best Life Video Webcast Archive.
11. Live your own dreams.
Be true to you. Live your truths. At the end of the day, you’re the one that knows your hopes and dreams and can make them happen. Make sure they’re you’re dreams and not somebody else’s.
12. Enjoy your space.
Take care of your surroundings. According to Oprah, one of the best things you can ever give yourself is to have beautiful surroundings.
13. Don’t let fear hold you back.
Take bold action. Don’t let fear make your decisions for you.
14. Think you can.
If you believe, you can achieve. Build your confidence and your self-esteem, one small moment, one choice, or one private victory at a time.
15. Give back.
Oprah consistently demonstrates philanthropy and contribution. She’s effectively dedicated her life to helping other’s live their best life.
16. Keep it real.
She lives larger than life, but she’s human. She’s vulnerable. She has her flaws. She strives for a better life. She lives a life of continuous improvement.
17. Own it.
It’s your life. Don’t point fingers. Don’t play the blame game. Make your dreams happen.
18. Find your inner peace.
Drop the baggage. Forgive and forget. Another key here is self-knowledge and integrity. Be the person you say you are, forgive yourself when you aren’t, and lead the life you want to live.
19. Don’t give up.
Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on you. Persistence pays off.
20. Be present.
Live in the now, with an eye to the future. Know the results you’re getting. If you don’t like what you’re getting, change your approach. The most important thing you can change first is your attitude.
21. Journal it.
Writing your thoughts can help you reflect and get a more objective look at things. There’s a lot to be said for thinking on paper, even if it’s simple as just organizing your thoughts. Your journal can help improve your self-talk and it can help remind you what you think is important. It can also help you declutter your emotions and your mind.
22. Life’s short.
It really is. As 25 years of the Oprah Winfrey Show ends, and a new chapter for Oprah begins, it’s another reminder that time is limited, life it short, and the best you can do is make the most of what you’ve got.
23. Live without ego.
Eckhart Tolle teaches us that our egos get in the way of living our best life, and Oprah reinforces this message. Through self-acceptance, living in the moment, finding our truths, and giving ourselves to a higher purpose, we unleash our best.
24. Savor the moments.
Savor your relationships. Savor your choices. Savor your food. Savor your joys. Take in your moments. Your moments make up your life.
25. Add fresh starts to your life.
Whether it’s a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year … or simply a new attitude, make it a fresh start. Find the ways to renew yourself, whether it’s a make-over for you or your house, and find the inspiration for a new lease on life.

Top 10 Oprah Winfrey Quotes
Oprah is a wealth of great quotes and she has many words of wisdom. You can learn a lot about her and her insights through her quotes. Here are my top 10 favorite Oprah quotes:

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.
I knew there was a way out. I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it. I knew there were other places, and there was another way of being.
The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Turn your wounds into wisdom.
We are each responsible for our own life – no other person is or even can be.
What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.
What I know for sure is that if you want success, you can’t make success your goal. The key is not to worry about being successful, but to instead work toward being significant, and the success will naturally follow.
You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.

Oprah Winfrey Quotes
I’ve included some of my favorite Oprah Winfrey quotes below. I’ve organized them using the following categories: General, Choice, Dreams / Destiny / Purpose, Giving / Gratitude, Growth, Fear / Failure, Identity / Individuality, Opportunity / Possibility, Passion / Energy, Relationships, and Success.

Oprah on General Philosophy
Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.
I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters.
I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself.
I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes.
In every aspect of our lives, we are always asking ourselves, How am I of value? What is my worth? Yet I believe that worthiness is our birthright.
It’s much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That’s the truth.
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
There’s no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
Oprah on Choice
Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up.
Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.
I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.
I believe that uncertainty is really my spirit’s way of whispering, “I’m in flux. I can’t decide for you. Something is off-balance here.
I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.
With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.
Oprah on Dreams / Destiny / Purpose
Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it’s right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.
I believe that everyone is the keeper of a dream – and by tuning into one another’s secret hopes, we can become better friends, better partners, better parents, and better lovers.
I knew there was a way out. I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it. I knew there were other places, and there was another way of being.
I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it.
I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.
It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.
Often we don’t even realize who we’re meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Use what you have to run toward your best – that’s how I now live my life.
You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.
Oprah on Giving / Gratitude
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
I don’t think you ever stop giving. I really don’t. I think it’s an on-going process. And it’s not just about being able to write a check. It’s being able to touch somebody’s life.
I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.
Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of life’s blessings.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.
Oprah on Growth
Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a different way to stand.
I am a woman in process. I’m just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.
Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way.
The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.
You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.
Oprah on Fear / Failure
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
I believe that one of life’s greatest risks is never daring to risk.
I don’t believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process.
I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.
It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn – which is what life is all about.
So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.
The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.
You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.
Oprah on Identity / Individuality
All these years I’ve been feeling like I was growing into myself. Finally, I feel grown.
As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you … the first time around.
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
I always knew I was destined for greatness.
I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.
I’m black, I don’t feel burdened by it and I don’t think it’s a huge responsibility. It’s part of who I am. It does not define me.
If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are.
Let your light shine. Shine within you so that it can shine on someone else. Let your light shine.
Partake of some of life’s sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself.
Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes.
What we’re all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.
Oprah on Opportunity / Possibility
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.
If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.
When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eyes.
Oprah on Passion / Energy
Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.
If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race.
Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.
Oprah on Relationships
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.
Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Oprah on Success
For every one of us that succeeds, it’s because there’s somebody there to show you the way out.
I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.
If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.
I’ve learned that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time.
The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.
Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have.
What material success does is provide you with the ability to concentrate on other things that really matter. And that is being able to make a difference, not only in your own life, but in other people’s lives.

My 2’cents

 

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2 cents

find your passion

make it count

discover your skills and nature your talents

try, then try harder , then do it again and again

travel and discover

take risks by leaping then learning to fly on your way down

develop fortitude

indulge with nature

listen to your inner voice

don’t give up your inner dream

read aloud then talk to yourself on the mirror

find yourself, be your self

hold her heart more tenderly than yours

scrutinize yourself

live in the Now, be present, be mindful

ask and allow to be asked

you have the blue blood, behave like royalty

don’t think too much

be a role model

choose the road less travelled, then make your own trail

respect everyone

be uncomfortable with mediocrity

grow a pair

take calculated risks

falter and get back up

journal, blog and if you can write a book

remember no one gets out of this world alive

 

6 Reasons your personality is important

 

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Good looks are nice and all, but they can’t hold a candle to a great personality. Your personality facilitates all the important moments in your life, and is what you are really remembered for. Remember how much it matters if you ever get too concerned about personal appearance. Here are six things in particular that make personality important.

1)Because personality is what makes you interesting

Your looks can’t make you interesting, at least not for long or not in a good way. Being interesting is how you grab people’s attention, making personality important virtually whenever you’re in a social setting. Think about the most interesting person you know, and the prettiest/most handsome person you know. Who would you rather be stuck in a room with? Being interesting is also not something that you can fake; just ask all the people who try and fail to do exactly that. Being interesting depends almost entirely on your personality, so if your personality is great then you’re all set.

2)Because personality can change

Even if you don’t have a great personality right now, you can acquire a better one by considering what you can do to become more likeble while, of course, always staying true to yourself. To contrast, you can’t acquire good looks, at least not naturally. That makes personality important in ways appearance can never be. Friends and family and partners want to see you grow as a person as you get older far more that they look forward to seeing you age. If you have a lot of anger buried inside you, for example, people close to you will be very pleased to see you change into a calmer person. No one’s going to be proud of you for getting wrinkles and grey hair.

3)Because personality is how we distinguish ourselves

There are probably hundreds of people across the world who look nearly identical to you. What makes personality important is that it’s what makes us one of a kind. Be the one of a kind you want to be by focusing on your inner qualities. There are a lot of people who haven’t done anything to develop their personalities, so they’re similar to hundreds of people in both looks and personality. A surfer dude with great abs can’t compare to someone with real stories to tell, for example.

4)Because personality can get you further romantically

When you’re trying to woo someone, a great personality is a key ingredient in getting their attention. Good looks may help you get into a conversation with a guy or girl you like, but if you have a boring personality the conversation is as far as it will go. Personality is important to continue that relationship beyond that first meet.

5)Because personality can get you further professionally.

A great personality can help you progress in your career as well as your social and love life. Employers will want to hire you if you have a good rapport with them. Once you have the job, the personality is important to getting in your boss good graces. Again, if you have a good personality the’ll want to spend time with you, which gets you through more doors than you could if you personality wasn’t up to par.

6)Because personality doesn’t fade away

Good looks don’t last. Eventually you grow old and gray; nothing can stop that. What makes personality important is the fact that it will stick with you, even when you’re an old, old man or woman. It will even stay with you after you die. No one remembers someone who passed away by thinking about how handsome they were. They reminisce on the good times they had with them, made possible because of their compatible personalities.

 

 

Why your mind should be like a rubber band

Tools for Elastic Thinkers

  • Capacity to let go of comfortable ideas
  • Become accustomed to ambiguity and contradiction
  • Rise above conventional mind-sets
  • Reframe questions we ask
  • Abandon ingrained assumptions
  • Rely on imagination as much as logic
  • Willing to experiment
  • Be tolerant of failure
  • Generate and integrate a variety of ideas

Unlike analytical thinkers who are driven by logic and sequence, flexible thinkers thrive in situations which involve breaking boundaries and trying new things. The idea of flexible thinking has, of course, been around for aeons but for author, physicist and screenwriter Leonard Mlodinow, it’s now prime time for people to harness the power of ‘elastic thinking’ to navigate an unstable world.

Stretch your mind

Elastic thinking is about stretching your mind and using ‘bottom up’ processing in the brain rather than the top down executive functions that drive analytical thinking. It encompasses a range of processes including, but not confined to, neophilia (an enthusiasm for novelty), imagination, idea generation and divergent thinking.

Elastic thinking is an asset that can be finely honed

It is also an asset that can be finely honed. “We all have to be trouble-shooters if we want to survive or thrive in today’s changing world,” he says. “Fortunately it’s a skill that’s built into the human brain.”

He says human thinking can be set out on a spectrum. “Logical analytical thinking is really good when you are trying to solve a problem you’ve seen before. You can use known methods and techniques to approach whatever issue you are dealing with. Elastic thinking is what you need when the circumstances change and you are dealing with something new. It’s not about following rules.”

New companies have couches for people to lay around and stare up at the ceiling – the incubation time is very useful for coming up with and processing ideas

Uber and Google are strong examples where elastic thinking underpins their creation and adaptability. And what do Leonardo da Vinci and the inventors of Pokemon Go have in common? They are also credited as elastic thinkers. It’s all about connecting the unconnected, trying new things and not being afraid of failure.

“You’ll see the new companies – often tech start-ups – that have couches for people to lay around and stare up at the ceiling,”

“The workers don’t have managers who are going to come and berate them for that as they know that incubation time is very useful for coming up with and processing ideas.”

For those wishing to tap into elastic thinking, I suggest carving out time for daydreaming, talking to strangers who are not in your usual social circles, absorbing art out of your comfort zone, and listening to ideas or concepts that you actively disagree with before considering the arguments of the supporters of those ideas and what motivated them.

"in search of GREATNESS"

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