Dear mentality enslaved…

I hope you find the courage to change your life. In the small ways, in the big ways, in every way that matters. I hope you do not end this story with a heart fully of regrets. I hope you do not spend your years just waiting for your life to begin. I hope you realize that this is not the practice run, this is not the preview. This is it. There is nothing to do but leap. There is nothing to do but allow yourself to exist as boldly and honestly as you can. You will think you have forever, but you do not. It all happens, and it happens quickly. You are not waiting on another person, or the right timing, or for everything to fall in place. You are waiting to feel ready enough to exist within the questions, to not need every answer, and to know that this life does not come to us to be perfectly understood, but to be fully experienced, in every direction we can possibly reach.

Top 10 Rules for Success

1. Everything Is A Season

Never make a permanent decision in a temporary problem

2.Pursue Ideas

Poor people talk about money all the time

Rich people talk about things

Wealthy people talk about ideas

3.Create Your Own Work

Your job is what they train you to do; your work is what you were born to do

Your job is your skill which they can fire you anytime, but your work is your gift – no one can take that from you

Your job is where you get compensation for activity, your work is where you get fulfilment because you love it so much

Your job you can retire from, your work you can never retire because your work is you

So when a person discovers their work, they no longer need a job because their work makes them productive

Every problem in life is a business, all businesses are simply someone solving a problem.

4.Create A Positive Change

Change produces 3 types of people;

-people who watch things happen

-people who make things happen

-people who wonder what happened

5.Become A Person Of Value

We need to be more focused on developing ourselves, rather than trying to grab money now.

Focus on self-improvement, self-expansion, rather than trying to get your pocket to expand because the more valuable you make yourself, the more value you attract.

You are not paid for how hard you work; you are paid for what you are worth to the organization.

The more intellectual development you have, the more spiritual development you have, the more psychological development you have, the more emotional stability – you become more valuable to the world.

If you become valuable to the world – the world will pay you to be yourself.

So it’s important that you become a person of value – not to seek value in things.

6.Follow Your Passion

7.Defy Your Own Experience

You should never judge your success by other people accolades. You judge yourself by God’s instruction to your life and how well you are with that instruction, because the average human being is so mediocre, that to be a genius – just do a little extra.

When experience is your teacher then progress is imprisoned.

8.Use Adversity For Your Benefit

If there is a silver lining to bad times it is this, when facing severe challenges – your mind is normally at its sharpest.

Humans seldom have created anything of lasting value unless they were tried or hurting.

9.Discover Your Purpose

Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, not manipulation. That inspiration comes from a passion motivated by a sense of vision and a sense of purpose.

Leadership is first personal then corporate. Leadership is not something you pursue, it’s something you discover. Leaders are born when human discover something more important than their personal ambition. True leaders don’t seek followers. True leaders pursue a passion to a purpose that gives them a sense of destiny. They sacrifice themselves to accomplish something for the greater good.

10.Learn From Everything

The best thing in life to do is not to regret and try to change what happened, but to interpret it properly, maximise and use it to serve other people.

6 Ways to Exlore Yourself and the World in New Ways

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot

Adding new experiences to your life is the best way to stay fully engaged, energized, and enthusiastic.

Otherwise you burn out from boredom.

Your routines and monotony will eat your soul.

When you shake things up, you active your brain, and you reengage with your life.  And that’s how you live.

Seek Novelty and Challenge to Be Happier in Life

Science says our brains seek change.  Novelty and challenge are the keys to help you break out of routines and ruts, and to create a sense of energy and enthusiasm.

“After peering into thousands of people’s brains with advanced imaging machines such as the MRI, neuroscientists have concluded that the brain is hardwired to seek and enjoy novelty and challenge

Remember those two ingredients:  novelty and challenge.

You can have all the right fixing for an incredible life–love, respect, abundance, and so on–but without those two ingredients your recipe ends up as a bland soup of sadness and disengagement.”

An engaged brain is a happy one.  When you try new things, you give your brain a chance to come alive and get back in the game.

Your brain loves “let’s figure this out” mode when you give it a chance.

Your brain becomes much more activated when something novel or challenging occurs.  Novel things make your mind snap to attention and become sharp, releasing dopamine and energizing your brain to go into ‘let’s figure this out’ mode.  It’s what motivates us to learn.  If that novelty also challenges us then our brains stay engaged for even longer.  And an engaged brain is a happy brain.

1.  The Ninety-Day Getaway

Take a trip, once every three months (once a quarter in corporate warrior terms).

Every ninety days, plan a getaway either by yourself or with our spouse or significant other.  Yes, every ninety days.  This doesn’t have to be a trip around the world–the goal isn’t how far you travel; it’s how far you get away, the difference being measured not in the miles you travel, but in how far mentally you break the monotony of routine in order to relax and rejuvenate.

2.  The Restaurant or Dining Tour

Date night is a great night to try some new places to eat.  If you don’t have a date night, maybe that’s your starting point.

Make your date nights an excursion to a new restaurant once a week.  If you’re in a small town, get a group of friends to host dinner every few weeks.  The goal is to get about town and experience new dining experiences.

3.  Shows, Sporting Events, Experiences

There is always something going on.  And something amazing might be happening right in your own backyard.

I am constantly surprised when I find out who’s in town, or what shows are playing, or what fun things there are to do, either in the local neighborhood or a hop-skip-and a jump away.

It’s a reminder that I really need to map out and pay attention to local area events.

What’s happening in your city this weekend?  Are there shows or performances you can go see?  Any new exhibits or exhibitions?  Despite the fact that many of us love going to the movies, sporting events, or the theater, most of us rarely do.  Make it a habit to be on the lookout for things you can go see and cheer for.

4.  Travel Adventures

Traveling is a great way to explore new places and try new things.  The most interesting thing to me is how some places don’t feel like any other places on the planet.

Do you have a list of the top-fifty destinations you want to go in your life?  Are you actively checking them off the list, at least once per year?  If not, get to it.  Traveling is one of the surest ways to introduce novelty, engagement, and excitement in your life.

5.  Expanding Your Peer Circle

Long ago a friend of mine gave me a new metaphor for people.  He said that I had looked at the people in my life in a static way.  More like a lake.  He said I needed to take a river view, and keep in mind that people are constantly flowing into and out of our lives.

A little habit I adopted at work is to challenge myself to regularly meet new people and expand my worlds.  And I find new people bring new energy, and I feed off that.

It’s funny how ‘making friends’ is so important to us when we’re young, but we lay off our efforts the older we get.  But your friendship and peer circles are the most important external influences in determining your happiness (outside of your intimate relationship).  Get serious about expanding your peer circle by going to networking events, fund-raisers, and local events and performances.  Be on the lookout not just for networking purposes, but for friendship-making purposes.

6.  Skill Development

Adding new skills is a great way to keep your brain alive and open the doors to new possibilities.

What ten skills should you develop this year?  How actively are you currently chasing and working toward mastery of something like writing, speaking, singing, cooking, programming, leading, playing soccer, or some other artistic, athletic, or professional skill?

The challenge of seeking new skills is one of the surest ways to test and transcend your own boundaries.  Go find something new to learn, and fall on your face trying to learn it.  Enjoy the process of learning–it’s one of the easiest paths to a more engaged brain (and life).

The quality of your life is really the quality of your experiences.

If you want to raise the bar and feel fully alive, then challenge yourself to find new ways to try new things and to add new experiences to your life.

Otherwise, you may slowly lose your spark that makes everything else worth it.

Keep your spark.

The Greatest Asset In Life

The greatest asset in life is our relationship balance

Go check out a person who has good relationships in life what they can achieve with one phone call, others cannot achieve with a million dollars.

Many studies have been done which says people who have good relationships they live happier and healthier lives. Our relationships friends and relatives, they are our support group.

We are talking about personally, professionally and socially.

Our family, people who are emotionally strong, you see in any crisis they come out stronger and people who are emotionally weak, they fight; they distort and make things fall apart.

People who are emotionally weak can never build lasting relationships with them because they are moody people, whimsical people, they are all sugar and honey to you today and they are out to cut your throat tomorrow. They are imbalanced and imbalanced people you cannot trust. In any relationship the foundation is trust and trust is built on integrity.

Personally, professionally there are many people who join groups like the chamber of commerce, BNI’s the Rotary, the Lions to network and they think they are building relationships and their definition of relationship is make connections with this people because someday they could be useful.

Usefulness goes, friendship also goes, there is no relationship – they are only takers, they are parasites only to suck whatever they can get and relationships are never built on taking, they are always built on giving.

Relationships are built on adding value addition to the relationship or to the other person were you need to give something.

There are four kinds of friendships in life;

  1. The friendship of convenience
  2. The friendship of usefulness
  3. The friendship because of a common enemy
  4. The friendship built on mutual respect

Helping each other is a duty of a friend; it is never the purpose of friendship. Helping always remains incidental to friendship.

To build lasting friendships and lasting relationships we must be willing to give and add value addition to another person’s life and that is what keeps a long-time relationship to be strong.

Go build it and you will live a much healthier, happier life.

time

Live Life To The Fullest!!!

Time waits for no one

Time stops for no one

Your excuses will not slow down time

Your indecision’s will not delay time

Your complaining will not stall time

Your regrets will not turn back time

So, don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries and hate

Because time will not turn back and cry along with you

It’s time to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future

Your only time is NOW

So, make sure you spend your time with the right purpose

With the right deeds

With the right emotions

With the right thoughts

And with the right people

Time flies! That’s a fact

But you can always spread your wings and soar with time

And navigate life the best that you can!

Remember, you will never pass this way again

Make it count

Time. Do what it does… keep moving!

lessons people learn too late in life

Live in the NOW

  1. Everything is temporary
  2. Life is not fair
  3. Family matters more than friends
  4. Others treat you the way you treat yourself
  5. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work
  6. Beneath anger is always fear
  7. Things don’t matter that much
  8. A lifetime isn’t very long
  9. You played it too safe
  10. Time waits for no man – make each moment count

50 life changing chess nuggets

THE GAME OF CHESS

After reading “Little Book of Chess Tips” by Peter French i sought my own interpretation of the same and how the rules can apply in our day to day lives. Enjoy………………………….

Things may not be as they seem!

  1. Pay close attention to every move your opponent makes – figure out the reason behind the step in life.
  2. When you see a good move, wait – look for a better one! – try to find the best move you can in every single position.
  3. Always have a plan in mind – what are you trying to achieve in a few years time.
  4. Remember value according to the type of position – strike where it hurts the most by optimising chances.
  5. Avoid repeating mistakes – analyse your games to understand better your opponent’s plans.
  6. Time is a vital element in chess – establish yourself in the strongest possible way using as few moves as possible.
  7. Control of the centre – everything flows from the heart, guard it with all your might.
  8. Never compromise or neglect your king – stick to what is most important and never derail.
  9. Know when to swap – difference between hoarding and spending relies on both timing and wisdom
  10. Weaken your opponents pawn formation – don’t miss an opportunity of tackling your problems and shuttering it’s structure.
  11. Consider the endgame – envision the end from the beginning.
  12. Concentrate all the time – remain frosty till victory is established at the very end of the game.
  13. If you are losing in the endgame, set stalemate traps – restrict your opponent as much as possible so as to increase chances of your victory.
  14. Be much more alert to your own attacking possibilities – be readier to defend against future threats or even to remove them completely.
  15. Relieve the pin/tie as soon as possible – be aware of any issues that may be tying you down as they narrow down your options to succeed.
  16. Moving to discover a threat from another piece – ensure you consider every potential move your opponent can make.
  17. All games are eventually decided by tactics – the most advantageous weapon that you can carry into a fight is tact.
  18. Always be on the lookout – search for indicators/red flags that may reduce your chances of winning or increase your opponents chances of losing.
  19. Reasons for making a sacrifice – be mindful in order to maximise your gains and limit your opponents options.
  20. Defend with the weakest available piece – wherever possible, use pawns to defend as much as possible.
  21. The knight is the weakest defensive piece – your game is as strong as your weakest link.
  22. Exploit overloaded pieces – read into your opponents game and take advantage of any mishaps.
  23. Don’t spend all your practice time learning opening theory – in any case, a thorough grasp of strategy and tactics is a far greater asset in the opening than mere book knowledge.
  24. When you are not sure of the best plan – improve the position of your worst placed piece.
  25. Balance pawn moves – thereby creating your opponents weakness that will be exploited later in the game.
  26. If your king is under attack – sometimes the best defence is to retreat and evaluate yourself, plan, strategize and come back with a better tactic.
  27. Never begin with insufficient material – the intensity of an attack should correlate with the resources available to execute the same.
  28. If your king is castled behind unmoved pawns – don’t put all your eggs in one basket in regards to defence.
  29. Look for the Greek gift sacrifice – sometimes death of a team member is necessary for the sake of the team’s survival.
  30. Look for opportunities – at times it may need you to make a calculated sacrificial tactical move that can win immediately.
  31. Never attack unless and until – only commence aggression when you have a tangible positional advantage.
  32. Do not attack on the flank unless – the centre should be strong, impenetrable and infallible.
  33. Spend time studying endgames – understanding the endgame makes the player more likely to win when the opportunity presents itself.
  34. Do not underestimate the king in the end game – do not hesitate to use your best resources at your disposal at the time when they can be fully optimised.
  35. The knight should stay as close to the king as possible – keep your priorities in life straight.
  36. Aim to exchange so that when the endgame is reached it is your opponent not you, who has the pawn – foresight is key.
  37. If you are defending the king against the king and pawn – strategy and tact is vital to draw the end game.
  38. When defending with a rook against pawns – sometimes you have to lose some to get some.
  39. To build batteries on files or diagonals – working together will yield a stronger result than the sum of its parts.
  40. Consider playing a system – the more things change, they more they stay the same.
  41. If winning beware of exchange into an opposite coloured bishop endgame – stay on your toes until the last victory whistle.
  42. Consider playing your opponent, not the board – assess as far as you can what type of problem you have and seek to frustrate it by all means necessary.
  43. Never neglect your control of the clock – it is essential to invest you time wisely, and conserve it for when you really need it.
  44. Don’t give checks for the sake of it – every resource should be used frugally in a nifty fashion.
  45. Do chess puzzles – always look for ways to expound your critical thinking ability.
  46. Use a good chess computer program – constantly seek to challenge yourself in order to grow.
  47. Do not fall into the habit – seek virtues rather than vices in all your deeds.
  48. Do not forget to look for traps – nothing is for free, always question and be suspicious.
  49. Play your best game all the time – let your lifestyle reflect your *A* game in all your endeavours.
  50. Remember that chess is a game – be generous to your opponent when you win, and never, ever be a bad loser. Play to win, play aggressively by all means, but treat your opponent with respect!

My favourite take away from this book is “The winner of the game is the player who makes the next – to – last mistake”

Do not be afraid to take risks even though they make your stomach churn – they may just be worth it!

Credit goes to the author of the ‘Little Book of Chess Tips’ by Peter French

The journey is short

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.

When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?

The elderly woman replied with a Smile: “There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as our journey together is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop.”

This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: “There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short.”

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart? Stay calm. The trip is too short.

Did someone betray, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? Relax. Don’t stress. The trip is too short.

Did someone insult you without reason? Shake it off. Ignore it. The trip is too short.

Did a neighbor make a comment that you didn’t like? Take a deep breath. Ignore him/her. Forgive and forget it. The trip is too short.

Whatever problem someone has brought us, remember that our journey together is too short.

No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.

Let us appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving.
In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.

COWS DON’T GIVE MILK

A peasant used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life. One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.
—The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. “What are you saying?” Asked the boy incredulously. —As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work your self. That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don’t get milk.

There is this generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. That things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if ” I wish, I ask….. I obtain.”
” They have been accustomed to get what ever they want the easy way… But No, life is not a matter of wishing, asking and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration.
So, remember to share with your children, from a young age, the secret of life. So they don’t grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces is going to give them everything they need in life.
Remember
“Cows don’t give milk. You have to work for it”

nifty nuggets

  1. Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next time.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  8. Save for retirement, starting with your first payslip.
  9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  11. It’s okay to let your children see you cry.
  12. Don’t compare your life to other’s. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
  15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
  16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
  17. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
  19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
  22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
  25. Forgive everyone everything.
  26. What other people think of your is none of your business.
  27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
  28. However good or bag a situation is, it will change.
  29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family will. Stay in touch.
  30. Believe in miracles.
  31. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
  32. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
  33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
  34. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s we’d grab ours back.
  36. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  37. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Envy is a waster of time. You already have all you need.
  40. The best is yet to come.
  41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
  42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  43. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

living your best life

  1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
  2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
  3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.
  4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
  5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli and almonds.
  6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
  7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
  8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.
  9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
  10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!
  11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
  14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
  17. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’, not a ‘Taker’.
  18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  19. Time heals everything.
  20. However good or bad a situation, it will change.
  21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family will. Stay in touch.
  22. Envy is a waster of time. You already have all you need.
  23. Each night before you go to bed, Pray to God and be thankful for what you’ll accomplish, today!
  24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
  25. Make every day count!

when i think…..

“When I think about the depth of the grave and the kilos of sand that are going to be thrown at us when we die, there is no need to harm my brother;

When I think of the darkness that pervades the tomb after it has closed, there is no need to hurt my sister;

When I think of the heat driven back by the ground and the amount of water that will drown me during the rains in this grave, I cannot make my neighbor suffer;

When I think that I will be alone abandoned by all, I prefer to enjoy communion when I am alive;
When I think my relationships are cut off by my past, I want to perfect my future.

If I could be reborn and start all over again, I would no longer make mistakes in my actions.
After a long meditation, I understood that all is vanity on earth.

May God help us to cultivate humility and love for our neighbors because vanity only gives vanity, everything will be vanity.
Be happy and make someone happy. “

Three types of people

LEAF

Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.

BRANCH

There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you can lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are are.

ROOT

If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy for you. They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you. Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots.

Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people’s lives?

What 25 Movies Teach Us About Love

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love.  Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light.  Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

  1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best.  Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”
  2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.
  3. Casablanca.  Kiss like you mean it.  Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
    It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”
  4. Casper: Don’t let go.  Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”
  5. Cinderella.  It’s what dreams are made of.  Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”
  6. Dan in Real Life.  Love is an ability.  Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”
  7. Don Juan DeMarco.  The answer is love.  Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”
  8. Ghost.  Sometimes you need to hear it.  Sam: “Ditto.”
  9. It’s a Wonderful Life.  We’ll do anything to impress the one we love.  George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”
  10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond.  Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”
  11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about.  Loss hurts.
  12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together.  It’s part of the journey.  Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”
  13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things.  Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”
  14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride.  But it’s worth it.  Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”
  15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes.  Stay true to you.
  16. Sleepless in Seattle.  Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you.  Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”
  17. The Bridges of Madison County.  You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”
  18. The Crow.  Remember them.  Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
  19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live.  Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
  20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love.  Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”
  21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated.  Hold on to that.  Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”
  22. The Wizard of Oz.  Love isn’t meant to be practical.  Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
  23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet.  Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”
  24. Wedding Crashers – Love more.  You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do.  John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
  25. When Harry Met Sally.  Sometimes love is like a new lease on life.  Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

What movies wrinkled your brain when it comes to love?

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT

I heard that we are in the same boat

But it’s not like that

We are in the same storm

But not in the same boat

Your ship can be shipwrecked

And mine might not be

Or vice versa

For some, quarantine is optimal

Moment of reflection, or re-connection

Easy, in flip flops, with a whiskey or tea.

For others, this is a desperate crisis.

For others it is facing loneliness

For some, a peace, rest time, vacation

Yet for others, torture:

How am I going to pay my bills?

Some were concerned about a brand of chocolates

Others were concerned about the bread for the weekend,

Or if the noodles would last for a few more days.

Some were in their ‘home office’

Others are looking through trash to survive

Some want to go back to work because

They are running out of money

Others want to kill those who break the quarantine

Some need to break the quarantine to stand in line at the banks

Others to escape

Others criticize the government for the lines

Some have experienced the near death of the virus

Some have already lost someone from it

Some are not sure their loved ones are going to make it

And some don’t even believe this is a big deal.

Some of us who are well now

May end up experiencing it,

And some believe they are infallible and will be blown

Away if or when this hits

Someone they know

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2021

Others say the worst is yet to come

So, friends, we are not in the same boat

We are going through a time when our perceptions and

Needs are completely different

And each one will emerge in

His own way, from that storm

Some with a tan from their pool

Others with scars on the soul

It is very important to see

Beyond what is seen at first glance

Not just looking, more that looking, seeing

See beyond the political party

Beyond the biases

Beyond the nose on your face

Do not underestimate the pain of others

If you do not feel it

Do not judge the good life of the other

Do not condemn the bad life of the other

Don’t be a judge

Let us not judge the one who lacks

As well as the one who exceeds him

We are on different ships looking to survive

Let everyone navigate their route with respect

Empathy and responsibility

My wish for the new year

That you have someone to love,

have meaningful work to do,

and have things greater than yourself to believe in;

that you have a reason to smile every day and a shoulder to cry on when you need it;

That you keep your integrity even when the choices are hard;

THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY,

give freely, forgive willingly,

laugh easily, and live well enough

to be grateful for every day.

WORDS TO PONDER

  • Once upon a time I met a man who told me that: telling the truth and making someone cry, is better than telling a lie and making someone smile and happy.
  • He said to me your true friends are those who will never avoid you just because they have met new friends.
  • As he kept on speaking to me, he said if some people do not appreciate and value my presence, I should work hard to make them value and appreciate my absence.
  • He said I must not be angry with anyone who is quiet on me because there must be a reason why they are quiet, and that I will get to know the reason later.
  • He told me it is always better to be a blessing to others at all times than to be a burden at any time.
  • He said I must learn to forgive others not because they deserve it but because I deserve the peace that comes with forgiveness.
  • I must know that everyone deserves a second chance and many more chances if they ask for forgiveness, but I must not lose my guard over their intentions.
  • I must not only talk to people in my free time, but I must free my time to talk to people.
  • I must know that the truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie will hurt for a long time.
  • I must learn to value and respect people who tell me the Truth no matter how painful the truth is.
  • I must make my decisions when I am in the right mood, not when I am angry, likewise I must not make promises when I am excited with high emotions.
  • I must know that some people are like candles that burn themselves to give light to others. I should not have regrets if I happen to be one of such candles.
  • I must learn to be a caring friend because it is a thousand times better than a careless lover.
  • I should value and protect my relationships of many years of investments, because they are like a book that takes years to write but, can get burnt only within few seconds.
  • He specifically said this repeatedly that: If I have a problem with someone, I should go tell the person and not go tell the world.
  • He said to me that I should know that nobody is too busy, it is just a matter of their priorities within a day.
  • He said to me that people can trust you when you are consistent with what you say and what you do.
  • He said with a low voice, only God can be totally trusted. Trust God 100%.
  • He then said: no matter what, I must not forget those who helped and stood by me in my time of trials and during my difficult times.
  • I must always remember those who turned their backs on me in my difficult times of trials. Not for vengeance, but for the lesson of life.
  • I must be careful with those who put me into difficult times but I must never hate them. It is a lesson of life.
  • He said again: I must be grateful at all times to God for this life and for living. It is a privilege, and not a right.
  • As he was leaving me, he said, always remember how temporary this world is, you must always be conscious of the reality of eternity with God in heaven or with Satan in hell fire.

The ant’s rule book of life

Be Brave

Ants teach you that no matter how terrifying things may look up ahead, you should never chicken out. They are a lot braver than your action movie heroes

Prepare Ahead

Ants are constantly preparing for the season which is yet to come. It has a start contrast to human behaviour. Your priorities can sometimes be driven by what you feel like doing.

Mind Your Own Business

We often like to talk about others, our friends, society and how bad the world is. We have lot of time to talk about others and poke into others business. Ants on the other hand mind their business.

Teamwork Helps

Everything an ant does is for the benefit of the colony and they will work until they are done. Almost on autopilot, each ant knows their duties and they do everything they can do to get their duties completed.

Adapt To Surroundings

You can find ants just about everywhere. Ants know where to find resources and you should do the same. Be quick to adapt to your surrounding and don’t wait for a wake-up call.

Hard Work Matters

Ants are noted for carrying objects that are bigger than them. This is only make possible through sheer hard work and determination. They are not scared of heavy tasks.

Sense Of Discipline

Without a mistake they march after one another in a line. Without dispute or accident, they move about in order. But everywhere in life man finds loopholes to divide.

Spirit Of Sharing

The ants share everything they get. They never eat anything alone. But what do we humans do? If we find something immediately, we try our best to hoard it in a secret place.

Ignore Diversions

If you put your finger in an ants path, it just walks around it and soldiers on. It won’t let your fingers hinder it’s work. You should do the same and not let silly problems get in your way.

It’s Not About Doing Things Perfectly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Try Stuff, Even If It’s Not Perfect

It reminds me to keep things real and not get caught up in perfection, or the ideal that does not exist.

That’s the essence and foundation for personal growth.

It reminds me just to try…to give my best effort… to get in the arena and go for it… even if it’s not pretty and it’s not perfect.

And  it’s that fundamental mindset that sets the stage to be able to practice the things that lead to doing great things, even if it’s not pretty, and it’s not perfect.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about progress… and progress is actually one of the secrets to happiness.

When we grow, we light up our life, even if it’s in some small way.

10 Reminders About Not Doing Things Perfectly

Too many people die with their music still in them, or they never realize their potential, because they get caught up in perfection.

Here are a few of my other favorite reminders about not worrying about doing things perfectly:

  1. A friend of mine was good about reminding me: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”  That was his way of saying to me, focus on “good enough for now” so we could move on the next challenge, and not get stuck in analysis paralysis or the perfection trap.
  2. Similarly, Voltaire put it, ““The best is the enemy of the good.”  Voltaire always has a way with words.
  3. I always liked the phrase: “Make it work, then make it right.”   (balanced with the idea that if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over 😉  … another way to think of this is, don’t get caught up in pre-mature perfection.
  4. Perfection is a journey, not a destination.  Enjoy the journey of learning and mastery.   This is the essence of continuous improvement.   Thinking back, this is really the big idea that helped me avoid a life of worrying about perfection, and instead, focus on progress.
  5. Focus on progress over perfection.  I always liked the idea that to get better at something, you have to do it more than once.  It takes practice.  You can’t practice very much if you are caught up in perfection.  When I think about it like that, it reminds me of Simon Sinek’s phrasing, “Better is better than best.”
  6. One of my best mentors was good at asking, “Is it effective?”   That was a much better focus, than worrying about some arbitrary notion or measure of perfection.  It was a simple reminder that if it wasn’t working, change your approach.   It’s far better to focus on effectiveness, improvement, or progress.   That’s where the growth is.
  7. As Confucius put it, “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”  Talk about trading up.
  8. As Shakespeare put it, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”  I’ve seen so many good things, come to an end, either for the sake of perfection, or over-doing something that was better in it’s rough and useful form.  I’ve seen some great art, great ideas, and great projects die that way.  Sometimes you just need to leave well enough alone.
  9. As my mechanic always said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”   He was incredibly pragmatic about where to invest time and energy, and not to throw good money after bad.
  10. As Leo Tolstoy put it, “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”   It’s one thing to have great expectations, but don’t let your expectations drain the juice out of your life. 

Perfectionism Is Fundamentally Flawed

Here’s what Wikipedia says about perfectionism:

“Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

Yuck.

Don’t Fear Perfection

The good news is you don’t ever have to fear perfection.

As Salvador Dali reminds us with his inspiring words:

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

How perfect is that?

What Is Your Life’s Blueprint?

Six months before he was assassinated, King spoke to a group of students at Barratt Junior High School in Philadelphia on October 26, 1967.

I want to ask you a question, and that is: What is your life’s blueprint?

Whenever a building is constructed, you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint, and that blueprint serves as the pattern, as the guide, and a building is not well erected without a good, solid blueprint.

Now each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives, and the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint.

I want to suggest some of the things that should begin your life’s blueprint. Number one in your life’s blueprint, should be a deep belief in your own dignity, your worth and your own somebodiness. Don’t allow anybody to make you fell that you’re nobody. Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance.

Secondly, in your life’s blueprint you must have as the basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor. You’re going to be deciding as the days, as the years unfold what you will do in life — what your life’s work will be. Set out to do it well.

And I say to you, my young friends, doors are opening to you–doors of opportunities that were not open to your mothers and your fathers — and the great challenge facing you is to be ready to face these doors as they open.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great essayist, said in a lecture in 1871, “If a man can write a better book or preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, even if he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.”

This hasn’t always been true — but it will become increasingly true, and so I would urge you to study hard, to burn the midnight oil; I would say to you, don’t drop out of school. I understand all the sociological reasons, but I urge you that in spite of your economic plight, in spite of the situation that you’re forced to live in — stay in school.

And when you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. don’t just set out to do a good job. Set out to do such a good job that the living, the dead or the unborn couldn’t do it any better.

If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well. If you can’t be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. Be be the best little shrub on the side of the hill.

Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.

— From the estate of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"in pursuit of GREATNESS"

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